I’ve always had an extensive list of fears, the mundane and the downright ridiculous. However, I’ve recently found myself reflecting upon them. If someone asked me what I was most fearful of years ago, I wouldn’t tell them the truth. I would shrug, probably say ‘snakes’ and then not mention it again. But that would be a lie. My fears aren’t always tangible, and neither is success. And my innate desire – my innate need to be successful is effecting the way I view my life, and the way I plan to live it.
University was never a project that I was thrilled to undertake. It came around at a time when my mental health was waning, the remnants of previous education having left it’s own mark. It made me feel conflicted. I didn’t choose to study a degree because I wanted to. I did it because I thought I had to.
So, back to the success thing. The source of so much stress and sleepless nights. The thing that I wanted so badly, yet didn’t fully understand. I listened to what others said, and I attributed the very concept of success to careers. Then I stopped to think, and realised that I’d been wrong all along. Success is possible, but it isn’t easily achieved. Do you want to know why? Because people fail to see it for what it is…a subjective thing. You can study, and work as hard as you want, but until you accept that everyone views it differently, you will never have it. And that’s why I was fearful. I pretended like I knew what I was striving for, but in the end I was just as clueless as everyone else.
Once upon a time, I believed that graduating with a first class degree would make me happy. And it did at first. I’d worked hard for three years, and despite everything, I was proud of myself. However, after putting on my cap and gown, I’ve definitely come to realise some hard truths. Graduating with the highest grade classification is a success, but it is does not make me successful. Only I can decide when I’ve truly achieved that status … if I ever do.
So, to my fellow millennials, I would just like to say this …
Enjoy the small successes – the moments that empower you and encourage you to strive for more. Do not let your fear of failure control you. Do not undermine your self worth, or deem your dreams unrealistic for the sake of pleasing others. Success is not finite, just as life is not guaranteed. The future will always be uncertain. So, hold on to everyday, and never give up. I believe in you, but first, you must believe in yourself.
Until next time,
I'm just an average teenager who spends too much time daydreaming. I also love reading and have a passion for creative writing which is why I am an aspiring author.